LESSONS LEARNT BY A DADDY’S GIRL

By

Briggs Deborah Okorite

From the WhatsApp display pictures, to the statuses, to all the social media posts, I chose to stay mute about Father’s Day online till I had told my dad how much he meant to me and much more to everyone of us as a family. 😊 For me, a lot of things have gone beyond social media and online publicity. If you’d ask me, my relationship with my dad hasn’t been perfect especially as I grew older. More than a year ago, I used to catch myself complaining that my dad hardly called me. You might not understand but it was a big deal for me! I was in the University at that time and while it was somewhat true I usually forgot that I was guilty myself. Even more than He was lol. I would message him when I saw the need to but I rarely called. At that point, I realised I had truly grown and was learning to be responsible. It is just the same way some Nigerians complain about the country’s corruption while they themselves are contributing to its deterioration. They do nothing to benefit the environment where they are. This is one reason relationships or families suffer. One party blames the other for what they themselves are not even doing. The next lesson is from an old post I wrote last year;

“I struggle with this at times, especially with people close to me. I don’t like when people don’t own up to their faults(no one does or yours could differ). It’s overwhelming for me and hurts but I can only pray for them. We need to remember that we need Grace too, when we make mistakes. We need God’s forgiveness at some point so freely give it to others. Give room for others’ mistakes. Now that’s love, learning this. 🙏 When we stop focusing on ourselves, we love others sincerely… You may be right, that’s okay. God always reminds me that I can’t change people, I can only love them. That’s not my job, it’s His. So don’t try to change people, that’s not your job to do! “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV

The above is not to say you should encourage evil but not hold it into account just like Christ has done for us. Learn to appreciate your dad more often. I know you do but this time, do it more often and sincerely. When the Word talks about doing good to others, it does not tell us to do it conditionally(as long as they do right) but all the time. I have learnt to appreciate my dad more and it’s made much more impact in our relationship. Do not allow a simple or even a complex misunderstanding between your father and yourself rule out all the great things and memories you two have shared together. Like I heard someone say, it is those closest to you who would see you at your angriest, poorest, and even weakest. Trust me, your dad is one! Never compare I have learnt to stop comparison when it comes to the special people in my life, it helps no one than just focus on the wrongs or what such person is not doing. My daddy is the kind of person who would rather buy the items for you than give you the money😁. He covers the food stuffs in the house most of the times, he does it so well that I have never seen where we have every lacked food in the house before. I can’t think of any time. He always provides and I appreciate that about him. Talk about a man who is so passionate about education! It is because of my mother and father I have such sound educational background. They gave me a future to always be proud of looking ahead😊 I’ve heard of stories where the father does not value education as much but probably gives his children sufficient money and another father who does both. it would be so naive of me to compare what one father does to the other. When you compare, you try to measure your own ‘better’ reality(it is most times) with other people’s ‘just there’ reality and vice versa.