PURPOSE BEFORE LOVE

By

Briggs Deborah Okorite 

LOVE.                                        PURPOSE.

These are interesting ‘topics’ I love talking about. Maybe because they’re areas I struggled with while growing up. For those close to me, you must have heard me say this several times; I used to be a very confused person not being able to decide what I really wanted for my life.

I remember relationships I had in the past, I was in because I thought the guy was handsome. Well, I wasn’t wrong. Just like every other girl who needed to be loved and given attention to! I thought that was all.

I remember this soap opera, (telenovela) “Don’t mess with an angel” which I fell in love with literally. If you can remember, raise your hand. Lol

While they were busy producing movies for entertainment and money, my senses were clouded. I just wanted someone who I could ‘love’ with everything in me…who I could sing the song in those movies to and tell how much they mean to me.

Cute right?

hehe…fantasies!!!

who sent me???

I knew nothing of my purpose, nothing of why I was on earth. Nothing of God’s plan of salvation for me even though I heard it severally. Nothing of His order in marriage. I was in my junior secondary school at that time.

I knew nothing much about God but we were encouraged to attend church services… I mean I had to go, my parents always took me. I was expected to be the good child of my parents.

If there’s one question I have for you it’d be “have you discovered your purpose?”.

I wasn’t living a purposeful life myself how then can I when I’m with someone else? It just never works. You don’t understand yourself yet you want to add someone’s life problems to yours?
It doesn’t work that way, friend.

Knowing that God is whom we need first before anything else is wisdom!

2015 began a year of purpose for me, I began to see God in everything… I wanted something deeper as I was just getting out of the guilt I had from mistakes I had made the previous year. Even then, my understanding of the Gospel wasn’t solid and I really wanted to ‘please’ God in everything I did especially in my relationships. I resolved that I would close my eyes on the things and people who didn’t make me committed. I was ready to give it my all.

It seemed like a lonely road as I was on my exchange programme in Poland at that time, away from family and people I was used to. It wasn’t a popular thing to serve God where I was, still isn’t. But I had resolved in my heart to serve at a local church whose pastors I met earlier that year, 2015.

The Holy Spirit led me to join a ministry where I could minister through songs. This was one of the personal decisions I made that changed my life drastically! I loved every bit of it. I was happy carrying out His will. It was easier because God had commanded and prepared me ahead..
I knew the area He wanted me to focus on!

I loved God and I wanted to serve His people. I wanted sinners to experience the change I am, this new life in Christ.

He was teaching me obedience, I listened to messages, advises from people much older than me! I wanted to learn more from His word!!!

Despite some hindrances at that time, I decided to do what He had put in my heart. He led my every step!

To not behave like some other person around me then, it was tempting to just stay put or stay idle but He made me realise that He had more He wanted for me. He had saved me for a purpose!

He made me realise that life was more than travelling, attending parties, clubbing etc.

“You cannot really enjoy life if you don’t know and enjoy God”.

We were made for His purpose and pleasure and until we know that, we can never truly be satisfied!

After some months of my service there, the pastor’s wife told me how she was praying for a replacement for someone to minister before my arrival.

She was told a ‘Deborah’ would come… Long story short, I came around and she didn’t even realize it until after a while.

I was moved to tears because I knew God planned it all!
It could have been any other Deborah but He chose me and I obeyed!

Finding these people of God gather from different parts of the world was a miracle. It’s amazing how God deals with diversity.

Understanding your purpose is key dear reader, God’s promises for us is sure! He has plans for each and every one of you, He wants you to fulfil your purpose through marriage as well. He knows your needs even before you ask!!

He doesn’t want you confused that’s why He said you should trust Him and not rely on your understanding!

May be He hasn’t sent the one you’re waiting on Him for because you’re carried away in the wrong relationship that’s not just working.

He needs you to abide in Him before committing to any man or woman!

He that finds a wife obtains favour from God! It’s one of God’s free gifts…It’s out of His purpose, it’s all for His glory alone. That’s why we’re created.

When we walk in His will, we experience peace that can never be understood… It just works!

You were created and designed for a purpose! When God created you, He had intentions He wanted to bring to life through you. A whole lot of people both young and old fail to discover this in time and hence try to get into every other thing (relationship and marriage inclusive) without understanding the reason for their existence. It’s alarming but just like a Mercedes cannot be operated and fully maximized in its entirety without a driver or better put without the driver knowing how to drive and also knowing how that kind of vehicle is to be operated so also is purpose.  It is same for a marriage-intended relationship.

It might go well initially while in a relationship but it never lasts. God intended that you know His purpose for your life before anything else. The way God designed it, you can’t enjoy marriage to its fullest without knowing your purpose how much more the purpose of marriage itself.

God designed us to want more from life, to not settle where we find ourselves. To believe for more, to reach for more in life. It usually tends to frustration when two people, young or old go into a relationship without goals, dreams or anything they’re looking forward to. It just won’t be enjoyable on the long run. You’re here(in this world) for something bigger than a relationship or marriage.

Know why you were created! Your purpose is key and very unique to you. The reason why you are not satisfied is because you don’t know why you’re on earth. You won’t be able to function at your best! We were truly designed to live our lives to the fullest! To fulfil God’s plans for our lives. It’s the first thing you should discover! It’s one of the best gifts you should acquire for yourself in life. Don’t go into a relationship because you are bored because honestly, you’d be perpetually bored after a while. Don’t go into a relationship because you think they are cute lol who cuteness epp? 😂 There are many cute people in this world, you’d end up marrying lots of them if that’s your aim.

Seriously though, we need to get into marriageable relationships for the right reasons! Another reason is you shouldn’t go into a relationship without discernment or the person being your friend(or someone you know in my own opinion). In other words, it’s more of my opinion that you must be friends with the person. Very key! The truth is that’s how it’s been designed. Marriage thrives on friendship and commitment. Many enter into relationships to pass away time or to have fun(what happens when you get tired? Because you will be). Some others because they experience a ‘spark’, what about if it’s no longer there? 😭 There should be a greater drive for you entering a relationship than what you stand to gain or how you feel. That’s your purpose, the reason you were created. It’d keep you going no matter what you face.